2021 Here I Come!

I’m excited to be writing again. I am starting this new year with more enthusiasm

than I have ever started a year before. It has nothing to do with 2020 finally

ending. It's that I've been searching for a long time to figure out how to be me.

It's what we're all doing, isn't it? I've felt stuck for a very long time. Since starting

therapy and devoting more of my reading time to personal growth content, I have

sparked a desire to really understand the core of me. I want to peel back all the

layers of labels placed on me by others that have become a part of my own self

talk. I want to change my inner dialogue to be filled with the tenacity, imagination,

and confidence we all have when we're young and our thoughts aren't filtered by all

those limitations that we have been confronted with over the years.

In my search for making things clearer and trying to find a system that will help me

do that, I discovered Plan with Laken on YouTube. She introduced me to PowerSheets.

Something about seeing Laken explain how PowerSheets have been a game changer

for her, made me think this system could work for me.  She’s not a fellow five, but her

three-ness shown through and her ability to get things done using PowerSheets has

me believing this system has validity. So I doubled-down, bought the PowerSheets,

attended the virtual Cultivate Your Year Live, joined all the Facebook groups, and

subscribed to Laken’s Patreon to maintain the accountability I know I need to get things

done. This all coincided with me starting to read more personal growth books. I typically

never read non-fiction. I love historical fiction, mysteries, and fantasy. Those worlds help

me truly escape when I can’t completely revel in true solitude. The initial process of it all

helped me to be able to write down some solid goals and break them down into actionable

steps. The prep work has given me insight into what I'm valuing at this point in my life

and the action plan to get my goals accomplished.

My therapist introduced me to Enneagram types and upon taking a test I discovered

I’m an Enneagram Type 5, the Investigator. Now I know this seems counter to me

denouncing labels, but this personality test is different. It's designed to help you

identify those labels that have shaped your personality and learn how to navigate

life and relationships based on an understanding of them. That way you can learn

to not let them control you and you can get back to the core of you are without them.

As my type implies, I do tend to spend all my time researching and testing, but never

really following through with getting things done. I get stuck on wondering what other

possibilities are out there, what can be more efficient, or creating my own system and

constantly revamping it because I crave efficiency. That's at my core of five-ness.

I started checking out books about productivity styles/strategies, how to form habits,

and personality types (specifically Enneagram books). It is true that 5's tend to prefer

quite a bit of alone time to recharge and get centered to face interaction with the world.

Yet, I found that accountability was key to helping me build momentum to help anything

new really stick. Without it, I find it hard to get past the hump of waiting for those small

gains to add up to that moment when everything just seems to click, the mental effort

is gone, and the habit is ingrained in my way of life. Noticing this contrast has made me

want to dig deeper into the world of productivity, personality types, and habit formation.

I know I’m not the only one who struggles with these roadblocks. We’re

all different, requiring varying strategies and sources of motivation to solidify the

changes we want to implement. That got me wondering about why I do the things

I do, or don’t do the things I should do. Last year I only read a handful of books and

didn’t really dive as deep into the content as I could have. So for this year, in order

to make the reading more intentional and actually apply it to my life, I’ve assigned myself

12 books and will be blogging monthly about one. At the end of the month I'll have my

first post on my takeaways from Atomic Habits by James Clear. It's regularly $27, but is

on sale now for $11.98! If you would like to join in, I have the full list below. Please feel

free to share in the comments anything that you've read that you found helpful. My list

may not be for everyone, but your suggestion may help someone. And I'm always looking

to add to my ever-growing "to be read" list 😍!

On the Road Again

My earliest memory is sitting on my big girl bed with my back against the wall.  My legs outstretched, not even close to reaching the edge of the bed.  I sat, grasping in my tiny  little hands a book full of beautiful pictures and even more beautiful to me, full of words.  I was four years old and in love with storytelling.  My preschool teacher, Mimi, was so great at sharing wonderful places and she took me to those places with books.  She would gather us around her on the big colorful carpet and we would all sit eagerly awaiting to be taken on the next exciting adventure.  I decided I too wanted to be able to go on adventures no matter where I was.

The first book I read

I would sit there in my spot on the bed and practice my storytelling, reading aloud; anxious to see whether or not Janet would get those new shoes she had been wanting.  My parents were busy doing things around the house.  When I came upon a word I did not know I would stop one of them as they were whizzing by my bedroom door, point to a word in the book and ask what the word was, they would say it aloud and be on their way.  I would repeat it and continue on with my story.  By the time I was ready to start kindergarten I could read that book.  I did not just memorize the story, but could read the words on the page.  I was so excited about what I could now do; enter new places all on my own.  My kindergarten teacher recognized my newfound love for reading and allowed me to read a book to my kindergarten class.  I earned a certificate for reading a book aloud and to this day it is one of the things I am most proud of. 

I say all this to say that I just realized I should have listened to my four-year-old self all along to figure out what career would suit me best.  Ultimately, in the grand scheme of things, I feel that there is some act of fate that plays a part in our lives.  Fate sets us out on a main pathway and allows us the freedom to take detours every once in a while; providing opportunities to make mistakes and hopefully learn from them, take risks and hopefully benefit from them.  After following my path for the last 29 years and taking detours here and there, I finally feel as though I am back on my main road.  For the first time in my life I feel excited and hopeful about where I want to be in regards to my career and that's teaching others how reading analytically and writing well can transform their lives. It's been a while, but I sure am glad to be back on the main road.

“What this power is I cannot say; all I know is that it exists and it becomes available only when you are in that state of mind in which you know exactly what you want and are fully determined not to quit until you find it."        - Alexander Graham Bell

Peace, Love, & Nerdy Stuff